Reminiscing

Many people have asked me what makes me decide when to write new blog posts, I thought I'd start this one by answering that question. I write when I feel interesting! I will write when I have something to say that I feel people may want to actually listen to. I have around 500 page views for every post now so I'd hate to bore you all! I've had another busy week and have found myself reminiscing a lot which has really helped lift my mood. I saw the girl on the train Monday (the film... I haven't been stalking anyone) great film! That was with an good friend from my college days, back when the biggest stresser in my life was my art projects, if only I could go back to that again! Tuesday I managed to revisit some of my primary school and secondary school memories with some old friends, they haven't changed a bit and I'm so grateful of that, we picked up as if we were ten years old again. My illness has really shown me who is really there for me, some people have walked out of my life and others have come running back into it. It's a real eye opener (not that I'm recommending illness!) I've met up with plenty of old friends recently, it's really helped me find my own identity again. The changes I have been through recently have made me feel completely unlike myself, it's nice to be reminded of the people and events that have caused me to be the person I am today. The good and the bad! So in my last post I mentioned feeling sick all the time, this got better yesterday, and the cure was beer, prosecco, cider and a dash of vodka... Cured! Of course this was all in the company of some of the best friends in the world. My old work colleagues met up with me in Richmond, I love them to bits although we are all completely different, perhaps that's why we get on so well. It was so nice to be in such good company and laugh till your face hurts. It was also nice to act all civilised for afternoon tea which turned into just afternoon prosecco with some nibbles that included pumpernickel (we had to look that up too!). Of course being back in London brought back many old memories. Going back to the place I made my home was tough to process but it also makes me feel incredibly proud although I did feel a bit like a tourist again. Shock horror I accidentally stood on the left side of the escalator!! (London friends will know what I'm on about here) just digging out my Oyster card made me feel like I had gone back in time, for a split sec one it felt like everything was back to normal and it was amazing. I get this feeling sometimes when I wake up, That split second of bliss ignorance, until I rub my eyes and notice the medication on the bedside table and that I'm lying alone. That's the hardest part of the day for me. I've started playing carefully selected music in the morning to help this. My current favourite... Come on Eileen. Give it a go! The last thing I want to tell you about is the look good feel better programme I went to on Wednesday. This is set up within the hospital for women with cancer. Makeup artists come and give a class on how to do your makeup properly and skin care routines that can help your skin during and after treatments. Many of you may know that your skin reacts really badly to both radiotherapy and chemotherapy so this was useful. All the free products was also a bonus! It was really empowering when the door closed and all the wigs and fake eyelashes came off. It is a really good programme, it's true that I feel like I have lost all my confidence with the weight gain etc, it was nice to look good and feel better!