The ability to smile

my life has recently, once again, been turned upside down. And no that doesn't mean it's back to being the right way up (it's an expression!) it's now just even more confusing and depressing. I'm now officially fat and miserable... I say this of course because I do have a sense of humour, don't worry I've just accepted it! Those of you close to me will know why this is but for this blog it is irrelevant. The purpose of this blog, as it always has been, is to spread awareness of cancer and its effects as experienced by myself courtesy of my dear little friend Brian. I'm feeling already that this particular post is quite sarcastic, apologies! It seems to be my new coping method. A new little motto of mine is that as long as you have the ability to laugh.. Everything is absolutely fine. You need to look for the little things in life and learn to appreciate them more. I've recently also got a lot more adventurous, I'm becoming more and more aware of the fact that I need to live, and do the things I have always wanted to do, but do them NOW! I've just got back from a spontaneous trip to Spain with one of my best friends. We booked the holiday and four days later I was sat on a plane. It was. So nice to just get up and go. I also managed to re live one of my favourite childhood memories... A trip to zoo marine in Portugal. I have found recently that re living memories from my childhood brings me great pleasure, perhaps this is because it takes my mind off my future. This is something I have found hard to come to terms with recently. I have now officially dropped out of uni and am back living with my parents, everything has become very real. Especially now I have finished treatment. I have become overwhelmed by the thought that there is now nothing anyone can do. I just have to hope that Brian stays slim for as long as he can! I have plenty to look forward to in the next few months including a trip to Iceland (very excited) any tips would be greatly appreciated for my travels! In the mean time I'm focusing on the little things and trying to enjoy every moment as much as possible. It's so important just to be able to laugh, whether that's at a (slightly drunk) man falling off a chair through a marquee... Or just being sat with an amazing friend watching a (very strange) film. Sausage party is great for a laugh although as I said... Strange. But it doesn't matter, just laugh... As much as possible. Laughter is stronger than any medicine, it's what I need most and I'm so lucky to have amazing people in my life to keep me going. Keep helping me laugh, comment or message me with a memory we have shared together!