Beneath the cape

I hit rock bottom today. At least I think I did (finally) I can't think of any other way to describe being sat in your gingerbread man PJs with your cat for company, watching back to back Bridget Jones and crying for four hours (give or take). I love being able to put on a brave face and be seen as an inspiration, but this blog is to spread awareness and for that I have to be as truthful as possible. The sad truth is that I actually spend a fair amount of time being incredibly depressed. Who wouldn't be! Since my diagnosis I have slowly had my lovely life taken away from me. I've lost my health, my education, my job, my home, my independence then my wedding and my fiance and with that my best friend. My life is the complete opposite to this time last year. I couldn't have predicted that in a years time I'd be sat blogging about a brain tumour, MY brain tumour. As common as the phrase is... You just don't think it will happen to you. So I have had a down day, I even ended up calling a neighbor just for some company and to stop me crying. It's been hard learning that sometimes you have to ask for help.  I have so many different people looking out for me from all different perspectives, doctors, nurses, psychologists, family and friends. Yet sometimes it can still feel lonely. One of the worst things about my illness is that I can't find anyone else my age who has the same diagnosis, we are a rare species! I'm meeting my psychologist tomorrow and a couple of friends before heading to Devon on Saturday. Hopefully I will start to feel a bit better again, I guess you have to hit something to be able to bounce back.