Brian goes online dating...

I'm going to write about a couple of odd bits and pieces in this blog. These are just little things that I've been thinking about. Since returning from down under I've been feeling a lot less Ill. A lot less like a cancer patient. I've been feeling more like the old me. I don't have to go into hospital that much at the moment so I have decided to start dropping my psychology appointments down. The same goes for my acupuncture appointments. I'm trying to make my life less 'cancery' (brilliant word). However, when I do go into hospital I like to make sure I have a good walk round. Up until my hand operation I was absolutely petrified of even being near hospitals. This comes from very emotional memories of time in hospital with my mom. I'm now completely comfortable with it. People often associate hospitals with death and dying. In my opinion, they are the complete opposite. There is no place quite like a hospital for witnessing LIFE. The QE is like a hive of activity. Doctors, nurses, porters, patients, paramedics. Such a buzz of conversation, all so caring and entwined in each other's lives. A hospital is a place of passion and I often just sit and watch it all. On another note... There's no other place where it is deemed socially acceptable to go to costa in your pyjamas... Or even worse one of the hospital gowns. There's short routes I can take to where I need to go, but I always walk the long way. The tunnel of doom is a great observation point. I frequently visit the YPU (young persons unit) which is where I would go should I need to stay in hospital. It's empowering to walk down those corridors. It's still very much a reality that one day I may be wheeled in there and not walk back out. It's taken a while for me to become more at ease with this. But I can now definitely say... I like the QE. I missed my train the last time I left the QE. I missed the train because I didn't walk fast basically. I could have ran and got it easily. But I've realised recently that I've never actually spent time wandering round the QE. Why do I rush everywhere? I brought myself some late lunch from the shop and went and sat beneath one of the trees in the grounds and read my book. It's a pretty good view from there. The QE, to me, always looks like two big ships docked in the middle of Birmingham. 

The last time I was in hospital I went to visit my clic Sargent worker. A few of us had a good laugh over my skydive video and I even inspired one of the inpatients to go and book one once she was out. After we had a bit of a chat, he asked me what my long term plan was. I replied, "I don't know, I didn't think I was allowed one." I asked what he meant and he told me he was thinking about relationships. I'm still completely scared by the last but it is something I've thought about a lot recently. I don't want to be alone forever, body eaten by alsatians and all... It's something I've joked about with friends for months. A good idea was devised over lunch around Christmas time. We were talking about how hard it would be to find someone as I have a terminal illness. We came to the conclusion that other people must be in the same situation... And bingo. 'We should set up a dating site... The slogan will be: speed dating, because you have to!' I've sense realised that tinder actually works just as well and is a lot less depressing. That's right... Once again granny Franny is getting down with the kids and I've surrendered to social peer pressure. I find it quite entertaining. I usually refer to tinder as a game, naturally. You swipe left or right and see how many points you get. Turns out I'm pretty good. You have the option to write about yourself, so after much deliberation I decided to include Brian in my profile. To my amazement he doesn't scare people off as much as I had anticipated. Parts of him must be fairly attractive! Some people have hilarious profiles, I'll share with you my favourite so far: 'hi I'm.... Aand I like to use big words to make me sound more photosynthesis' what a funny game to play!